It is May 4, 2011

May 22nd, the date I was supposed to graduate, but no longer the date I graduate from high school

It takes eighteen more days for me to graduate

To get out of a high school

I first thought, 'Oh god, I wish to get out of this place in a heart bit' 

Then, now I think, 'Why eager for something that isn't to happen, why not just enjoy the day I have been given'

Therefore, I am sitting here writing this thinking, 'Wow, Hwayeon have you really begun to have feelings attached to this school?'

And I answer just inside of me, quietly, 'Maybe. Maybe I have already been attached to the school. Maybe, I just wasn't aware of how I was' 

A great change of decision was made yesterday. 

'To go, or not to go. That is the question.'

My question was to whether go to the family weekend on 5th of May. Buffet, face painting, lots of activities, friends, etc are available there, but the turning point for me was the blue shirt I saw right after the school. 

Not a dark blue nor a light blue, but some sort of blue that is clear and somehow reminds me of a hope. That was the color that caught my eyes. 

Then with tempting introduction of family weekend by Mr. Burke, I began hesitating to buy a ticket to home. 

'To go, or not to go. That is the question.'

Haha. How ridiculous it would've sounded like when I told my dad that I would like to go to the family weekend just cause of the shirt. Haha. He was wordless. Haha. He was stunned for the moment then soon said, 'for a shirt? for a shirt Hwayeon?' then in the end after the disappointment of not being able to see me a day early he says, 'if you wish to, i will see you a day early than normal weekend anyways.' 

But of course I added, 'Dad, I'm not sure if I am going for sure. I am going to think. Think till Wednesday.' Then I thought once again. 'To go, or not to go. That is the question.'

And I am still thinking. Still thinking, 'To go, or not to go. That is the question.' I, not perfectly feel, but most likely feel how Shakespeare would've felt when he wrote this in Hamlet.